I recently heard a sermon from a well-respected Ph.D. psychologist and pastor regarding the difference between being ‘nice’ vs. being kind. I know what you’re thinking, “Alright…here she goes, she mentioned the word ‘pastor’, this is going to be another annoying Biblesque Christian Blog.”
Nope, not at all. Oh, I’m not going to lie. I read the Bible. There, I said it. And I spend most of my time in the Old Testament to which my Jewish friends can attest to.
But a Christian Blog purely? No. No way. You’ll learn more on that later, but I always say, “I love church, but I also listen to Deep Purple.” At least Bono would understand. He’s a fully-orbed creative individual who happens to also read the Bible. Big deal. Get over it. Some Christians are ‘normal’.
So back to this pastor’s illustration. He had some very poignant examples of “niceness” and broke down its weaknesses.
“Nowhere in the Bible is the word ‘nice’ used”, he explained. “Nice people will never have the horsepower to be there for you in the hard times.” Oh, how true. Horsepower. Isn’t that what we all want? People in our lives with ‘horsepower’? I know I do.
A ‘nice’ person will often depart when the road gets rough because niceness has an Achilles heel – it’s concerned more with appearances and popularity. Kindness, goodness, even faithfulness always cares more about the recipient than the appearance of the quality it lends.
I agree. The last few years as my son has navigated elementary school, new friendships and his own conflicts among peers, I’ve told him repeatedly, “You don’t want to be nice, you want to be kind. And I will do my best to show you the difference.”
Kindness has boundaries. Kindness speaks the truth even when it’s uncomfortable, unpopular. Kindness defends the weak. Kindness is willing to count the cost because it knows, it’s a bigger and stronger engine than mere ‘niceness’. Kindness is heavier, more stable, able to withstand the potholes and storms of life all while remaining loyal. Niceness can smile and flit around looking good, but it will ‘zip off into the sunset’ to the next swanky valet.
For one week, focus on the difference between ‘being nice’ and ‘being kind’. And see what you find. Some of the engines around you may surprise you.
You’re welcome.
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