Fashion Stories & Dirty Laundry

So much for my daily Blog aspirations. But I’m back. ‘Back in the saddle again’ as they say. That’s right, a spider bite isn’t going to take me down, but it sure did try, more on that later.

Today’s title comes from a sermon I heard earlier this morning. “Should we live for our resume or our eulogy?” That was interesting and challenging for a sunny day.

So do we? Which do we live for? Personally, I’d like to think that ultimately both somehow dove-tail and run along aside each other like train tracks. But when you look at some lives, clearly they do not.

I confess that in my teens and 20s, I lived for myself. I lived for accomplishments, goals, making a ‘mark’ in this world that ‘was MY oyster’.  I wanted that gold medal and the Wheaties box. Then I probably wanted to be a famous broadcaster or reporter. All those goals are fine IF your motives are pure and you can handle it. Clearly, it wasn’t given to me for reasons I may never know. And certainly for my own good.

As life and age refined me, I saw my train tracks diverge towards different paths — even more so after I became a parent.

Odd side fact, back in the day at college in Southern California, I loved reading the newspaper in a local cafe (still do), I found myself reading the obituaries out of the blue. No, not a morbid curiosity of death and dying; no ‘Woody Allen-esque fascination a la Annie Hall’. I purely enjoyed reading about different lives and what written after they had passed on.

Only years later I found out that my great-Grandmother was also an ‘obit reader’. It strangely warms my heart that something in my DNA fueled that same desire.

The other day at a local Houston cafe, in between looking for jobs, I picked up the obituaries once again. I read about 15 different lives, the bits of life around ‘the dash’ that we all get whether we like it or not. I read about the people who survived them, their ages, some of their journey. It’s fascinating. Try it. It’s not as morbid as you think.

Today I am far far away from any Wheaties box goal and even farther from any fame, but I never thought I’d say this, “I am totally at peace with that.” In the last week, my son asked me if I was going to die. Honestly, I was slightly concerned. I have a large spider bite on my leg and it’s infected. (gross, I know). But it’s not many times in life, you have a huge bull’s-eye on your leg with a fever. This past week I actually missed Los Angeles and their bug-free environment.

In any event, I am doing much better, thank you. But that question, “Are you going to die Mommy?” Well…yes, someday. But not yet, and not from this darn Arachnid.

That’s exactly why today, as a mom in her 40s, I’m striving to live more for my eulogy than my resume. I’d like an obituary that can own words such as “loving, devoted Mom, Sister, Aunt, a kind Friend etc.” And while my eulogy may mirror back some of my paper ‘resume’, I’d like my eulogy to exude depth, weight, something solid like rock or steel. It should mean something and it should actually ‘say something’.

This week, read an ‘Obit’ or two. Think about your own eulogy.

It won’t kill you.