I’m writing this on the Eve of my son’s 12th birthday. I hold a peaceful content with a mixture of sadness in my heart for the beautiful years that passed too quickly. I exhale often as I accept the reality that Ravi’s no longer a ‘child’ and on the cusp of his teens.
If we stop to pause and ponder life’s timing, we’ll see a beautiful pattern to these seminal moments. This past week, Ravi also lost his last baby tooth, which I found perfectly symbolic.
The growth of children is a bittersweet observance for a parent and especially if you’ve actually enjoyed being one. I have truly enjoyed ‘being a mom’. I embraced every stage of his development and while I’ve had moments of extreme fatigue, I never minded all the work and the nitty-gritty. It is worth all the ‘blood, sweat, tears’, and yes, vomit.
The last few days, Ravi has savored various ‘favorite’ activities with his closest friends and for the first time, I was able to drop kids off at a theater, get them situated with movie snacks then leave to enjoy a few hours of an outdoor mall that’s delightful during this season. I also had comfort that my son could text me afterward and I’d walk easily to meet them. It’s this kind of freedom that we often long for when they’re a toddler, sick, and vomiting everywhere. But this new freedom comes with a price — the price of years passed. We cannot have it both ways.
As I sip a glass of Rosé and enjoy a salad outdoors, I reflect wistfully upon the last 12 years.
I’m happy Ravi’s enjoying friends, a fun film, and having a wonderful birthday weekend.
I’m thankful for the blessing of 12 years of good health (not every child has this) and for the many successes in his life – in and out of the classroom. Those who know us well, know my updates from time to time.
However, I’m most thankful for his empathy, his ability to retain solid friends, and his authentic kindness despite a person’s background or culture. He’s a natural leader and enjoys helping others. These are the true successes in life. Only the passage of time reveals a child’s character.
Time rolls onward, and all a parent can do is remain faithful, thankful and love their children as they grow into adulthood. Twelve years ago, when I held my son for the first time, my heart leapt out of my chest never to fit back in. “A mother’s heart resides outside her chest.”
Just like a fine Rosé, fruits of life always reveal themselves. It’s now a sweet sadness to enjoy them more from afar. Yet, I will enjoy the last drop.
Happy Birthday my dearest and beloved son, Ravi Joshua Sinha Smith, November 20th, 2017.
Love,
Mom
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