Ever have one of those weeks where by Tuesday evening, you’re ready for it to be over? Yes, that was this week.
Unless you’ve been purposefully absent from all electronic news alerts, by now most know that Kobe Bryant, his daughter and several of their close friends died in a horrific helicopter crash on Sunday.
I had the privilege of watching Kobe Bryant play twice up close with my son, a true basketball fan. After this recent tragedy, I felt compelled to dig out an old scrapbook to see if I still had Ravi’s first Lakers ticket, I did. Perhaps this was my own way of processing the mourning presence here in Los Angeles. All week there’s been a palpable cloud of sadness over the City of Angels. Purple and yellow lights line buildings everywhere, memorials at Staples and other places and even Metro buses (see picture). At Ravi’s audition this week, many of the kids were wearing Lakers gear. Here’s everyone in the lobby waiting room attempting to relax and concentrate, but focusing on Kobe. It was a weird vibe all-around. And you could feel it and it was hard to shake off.
I’ve been a parent for 14 years and admittedly filter everything now through this ‘mother lense’. I cannot help it. Hearing about the crash, my mind tries but can’t process being a receiving parent of the call your child has perished. I have been told it’s a pressing and undefinable grief. One that makes you lose your breath. No amount of money, fame, luxuries, or friends around could ever make that phone call any easier. Every parent, irrespective of their background, is cut off at the knees when faced with the death of a child. Grief makes everyone collapse.
This tragedy led me to Psalm 90:12. I have found that ‘hanging out’ in the Book of Psalms helps one breathe a bit easier during times of grief and sadness.
“Teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”
What does this ‘number our days’ really mean? Does it mean we ‘live it up’, throw common sense to the wind and indulge day and night? No. Does it mean that all pursuits and everything we do is ultimately meaningless? Not completely.
My interpretation of it lends to a more lasered focus on our time, talents, energy and those we love daily. We’ve learned what is important and what is trivial. We hug and say ‘I love you’ daily. We pause, be kind and less impatient with the strangers within the places we reside.
The week already filled with thick sadness was growing contemplative, only to be interrupted with anxiety. Two days after Kobe’s death, my son’s school had a school shooting threat. It was declared ‘non-credible’ later after LAPD visits etc., but any threat on social media about a school shooting needs to be taken seriously and they do today. Most of the recent school shootings had prior on-line evidence. I kept my son home that day, most parents did.
As I drive him to school, I listen to the words coming out of my mouth. There was a dissociative feeling to my own words. It’s hard to process because growing up, I never felt unsafe at school. I never thought of being shot at school. Kids could be jerks and brought big mouths but never brought guns with evil intent.
So here’s our reality today: “Hun, listen to me for a second, please. You’ll be okay and Mom is always praying for you. If you ever have a shooter present at school, you will have to make spilt second decisions on how to act in that moment. You will either hide as small as you can or run like hell. Do not waste time texting or calling me. I know that you love me. Get yourself safe first. Okay?”
What a strange, sad and necessary conversation to have all wrapped up into one. And although schools and staff do drills regularly, parents still need to do their own research and have their own conversations with their children.
Some weeks are more pensive than others. This was one of those weeks. Thankfully it’s almost over.
The take-away…Kiss your kids. Pray for them and pray for wisdom. Enjoy each day. Meditate on Psalm 90:12.
-Christine
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