I’ve been silent on social media for a few days. Some would interpret this as avoiding or not fully supporting the continued protests or civil unrest. Not at all true.
Sometimes silence, especially from a white woman, shows respect and gracious restraint. I also maintain that not ‘everyone wants to hear everyone’s opinion everyday’, so sometimes I’m quiet. Also firmly believing a white person’s opinions and comments need to tread carefully until we know how to proceed respectfully and intentionally with next steps.
I know many people and businesses posted the black-out squares and various hashtags on Tuesday and rest of the week. In my soul and mind, I was led in a different direction and show my support by my words, pictures and personal stories.
Here’s what came to light:
Dear White People/Myself,
We must execute action beyond social media and hashtags. I know much progress and awareness was made through the peaceful protests. However, going forward, if your only true form of support is on Instagram or Facebook, God help us all. Racism is learned at home. Being anti-racist is also learned at home and implemented by intentional relationships, choices and your day-to-day lifestyle.
Let me tell you a few bits about my parents. I was raised in Virginia in the 1970s – 80s. It was during a time when most private clubs still only allowed white members and we had schools that bused in 1 bus from South Arlington. I am not proud of that, but I also didn’t ask to be born into that time period and environment.
But I began a journey of conducting myself differently with the seeds of my parents. I remember some of my parents’ favorite friends were an African-American couple. They went out to eat and dance in Georgetown together in the 70-80s, think about that. Their daughter was my first best friend at age 5. We had so much fun together. Her name was Candy. You must know, this was still rare back then.
After the Navy, my father became a pilot for Eastern Airlines, and the 70-80s were its heyday. The pilots and AFL-CIO went on strike for a while and my father had a period of furlough. Did he cross the picket line – no way! In fact, he was one of the only pilots that went down to the baggage handlers, who were mostly African American men during that time period, and helped those men load suitcases and bags onto the ramp to the planes. He knew it was the right thing to do. Even as a ‘white pilot’ he didn’t care what people thought or said.
Racism and anti-racism is learned at home and then reveals itself later on the sidewalks and in the mean streets.
Those who know me know I’m not afraid of the uncomfortable questions. So I ask my fellow white people, what are you doing now for change and hearing the black community? If you worship, do you go to a diverse church? Or does everyone at church look like you? Do you actively reach out, talk to and get to know other African Americans? Do you or have you ever truly gotten to know other folks beyond white? Or do all your friends look like you?
Do you see needs in other’s lives and actively reach out and ask to help?
I am a white woman, it’s obvious. Many probably have their opinions and stereotypes about me from first glance. I can accept that. Yet there are years of details most don’t know because there was no reason for me to share in making a point. And today, I hesitate sharing in fear of looking to score points. But I am not. I’m sharing to illustrate a point. Know that my first best friend was black and during my entire senior year at UCLA, my one and only college boyfriend was black. He was my first love really, the most interesting young man with so many talents and is a physician today. When I get together with old college friends, we still talk about those days fondly.
These life experiences were decades ago.
Today I watched George Floyds’ funeral on TV. It was powerful and inspiring. I stood at home for 8 minutes and 46 seconds with everyone else and I must say, 8:46 was a long time. It drove the point home and touched my heart. Reverend Sharpton spoke Truth, he really did.
If we are all truly made in the image of God, and I believe that we are, let’s go forward and start to see every person in this light. I personally dislike the ‘white privilege’ reference as I do fit that mold to some degree. But I don’t want to be defined as a ‘white woman’; I certainly don’t want to be defined as ‘white privilege’. I want to be defined as a human being, despite imperfections striving to seek and serve God while helping other human beings of all colors — as long as I am on this Earth. That is our only hope in transcending racism.
Today the air feels different in Downtown LA. After the protests, looting and destruction, then more peaceful protests, the dust has settled. The air feels more peaceful and as if society has exhaled a bit. Change felt palpable today for some reason.
I know social media, posts and hashtags are here to stay. But let’s continue to move onto the sidewalks, within the conversations, and authentic relationships. That is where true humanity lies.
-C.
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